“You’re worried about what-ifs. Well, what if you stopped worrying?” ― Shannon Celebi, author of Driving Off Bridges
Push finally came to shove. I had to cancel both my Ireland and Scotland tours scheduled for this month. For several days, before self-isolation, I walked around with “what if” perched on my shoulder. WHAT IF we go? WHAT IF someone on the airplane carries the virus? WHAT IF we get there and someone gets sick? WHAT IF we have to hunker down there for 14 days? WHAT IF we can’t return home? WHAT IF we don’t go? WHAT IF we all lose money? I was driving myself into a frenzy with so many What If’s. It was time to make a decision.
Last Saturday I phoned all of my travelers to make sure they were in agreement. Everyone was disappointed and supportive. We simply could not and would not go. That’s when I had an uplifting What If. “WHAT IF we move the tours to September?” Most travelers were on board with it. So, I started moving ahead with re-booking everything. Soon I discovered that the many sites and hotels in both Ireland and Scotland are closed. How could I possibly re-book? Then the What If’s returned.
WHAT IF I move the tours to September and the virus does not wane in the summer as graphs are predicting. WHAT IF we still can’t go then? That’s when I realized I was drowning in another sea of What Ifs. My own personal ones, and then the huge one that is close to sinking all of us. Then the tears started to flow. Finally, I allowed myself to feel the fear that I’ve been trying to avoid.
I realized that the What If mindset was controlling my thoughts. A perfect way to avoid feelings. Reminds me of a quote I heard years ago, something like, “It’s hard to fight an enemy with outposts in your head.” My sanity has been restored. The enemy was not the tours or the virus. The enemy was of my own making. Enough! There will be no tours in 2020. I’ve made peace with that, although I get teary when I think I should be walking on Ireland’s green grass. Then I remember how blessed I am to live outside of town with my own lush green fields, with two doggies always up for a walk.
For your viewing pleasure, here are a fun links to funny things being created around the pandemic. Some people on Facebook are taking offense by such nonsense. I disagree. Humor heals. Enjoy!
Social Distancing During Corona Pandemic Funny Video
Toilet Tissue from The Carol Burnett Show (full sketch)